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"Your 'reality', sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever."
— Karl Friedrich Hieronymus, Freiherr von M√ľnchhausen

Minotaur vs. Centaur

Now this just warms my cockles: Minotaur vs. Centaur is geek love at its best. And like so many other things, it began with some guy named "Al":

This is where the whole Minotaur Versus Centaur thing started. "Weird Al" was coming into the office for an interview. We waited our whole lives to meet Al and this was the opportunity of a lifetime. We wanted to ask him things he's never been asked before and as we spiraled into the abyss of the absurd trying to come up with clever things to ask him, our Managing Editor Chris Radtke, in a moment of clarity had the only stroke of genius he'll ever have in his lifetime. "I know," he said with his mouth full of Twinkie, "how about we ask him who would win in a fight: a minotaur armed with a trident or a centaur armed with a crossbow?" UGO's Editorial staff was silent for a moment, and then everybody started to riff on thier answers. Two hours later the debate was still raging and life as we know it was changed forever. Like so many other things, it all begins with "Weird Al" Yankovic.
—The "official" explanation of how an interview with "Weird" Al spawned a phenomenon
Like the inimitable "Al", the Red Bull's obviously going to say the emotional favorite is the minotaur. But the centaur, of course, has range.

Like me, the more "certifiable" geeks who weighed in on what is recently an age-old question, did the geeky thing and overanalyzed. The D&D guy made a compelling case for the minotaur, too, but noted that the battlefield was of supreme importance in deciding the matter. Ethan Suplee asked the important questions: A barroom brawl or football field? Assuming the minotaur can take that first hit and grab him, Mr. Centaur is might have a tough time. But assuming he can run, the smart centaur should be able to turn him into a pin cushion.

Neil Gaiman and Ridley Scott gave the edge to the centaur. Clive Barker and Rob Zombie went minotaur. Malcolm McDowell very explicitly would not take a side.

Go check out Minotaur vs. Centaur. Because I believe that every important question you may ever have in life can be phrased in the form of: "who do you think would win in a fight...?"

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Comments on Minotaur vs. Centaur
  Comment from Blogger Lee at Tuesday, November 13, 2007 12:08:00 PM
I believe the key to answering this question is what style of Minotaur. Does the Minotaur in question have human feet or bull hooves? After answering this I can give an accurate answer.

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The Red Bull Diary is the personal pulpit and intellectual dumping-ground for its author, an amateur game designer, professional programmer, political centrist and incurable skeptic. The Red Bull Diary is gaming, game design, politics, development, geek culture, and other such nonsense.