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"Your 'reality', sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever."
— Karl Friedrich Hieronymus, Freiherr von Münchhausen

The First Rule of Chessboxing

...is that you do not talk about Chessboxing.

You play chess with timed moves for four minutes, then box three minutes, then sit back down, and continue your game. There are six rounds of chess and five rounds in the ring, but you can win early with a knockout or checkmate.

This has got to be one of the greatest ideas ever. I love the idea that you have to best your opponent both physically and mentally. Winning that match must be thoroughly satisfying. Concentrating on chess after being smacked in the head many times can't be easy.

The loser said he was simply too punch drunk to fend off checkmate.

"I took a lot of body-blows in the fourth round and that affected my concentration. That's why I made a big mistake in the fifth round: I did not see him coming for my king," he said.

We may have finally found the definitive way to separate the weak from the strong.

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Comments on The First Rule of Chessboxing
  Comment from Blogger MacFurious at Wednesday, July 09, 2008 1:36:00 AM
I absolutely love this idea! Oh yeah, where are my gloves?
  Comment from Blogger Patsy at Friday, July 11, 2008 10:14:00 AM
I think we should insert another part: After the chess and the boxing rounds, there should be a round of speed quarters.
  Comment from Anonymous Anonymous at Friday, July 11, 2008 1:55:00 PM
or better yet, in between the boxing and chess rounds, the speed quarters. :P
  Comment from Blogger maltezefalkon at Friday, July 11, 2008 8:54:00 PM
I'd challenge MacFurious to a few rounds of chess-cum-fisticuffs if he weren't a Ticking Timebomb of Fury.
  Comment from Blogger MacFurious at Saturday, July 12, 2008 1:20:00 AM
and don't you forget it f*cker!!!!
  Comment from Blogger Patsy at Sunday, July 13, 2008 8:19:00 PM
And COMPLETELY off-topic, did you see THIS craziness?
http://www.koco.com/news/16860079/detail.html

btw- this is Patsy, fyi
  Comment from Blogger maltezefalkon at Monday, July 14, 2008 1:18:00 PM
I wondered if it was you!

I think we'd have to include a game of quarters in there too to give MacFurious a fighting chance...

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The Red Bull Diary is the personal pulpit and intellectual dumping-ground for its author, an amateur game designer, professional programmer, political centrist and incurable skeptic. The Red Bull Diary is gaming, game design, politics, development, geek culture, and other such nonsense.