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"Your 'reality', sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever."
— Karl Friedrich Hieronymus, Freiherr von M√ľnchhausen

Order of the Stick #248

More cryptographic goodness.

Vaarsuvius: Yes, I'm afraid I must concur with Master Thundershield's diagnosis. There is no mystical genesis for the condition, so my arcane power, mighty though it may be, cannot remove it.

Durkon: Och, I was afraid o' dat when Thor's magic could na heal her.

Roy: Hey, gang, what's going on? No wait, let me guess. Haley's selling her tooth fillings to V for a quick profit, right?

Durkon: Actually, it be bad news fer the lass.

Belkar: (aside) And good news for fans of cryptograms.

Vaarsuvius: Miss Starshine appears to have been rendered incapable of properly articulating herself verbally.

Roy: What??

Haley: It means my speech is all funny-sounding.

Vaarsuvius: Yes, as you can hear, she can only enunciate gibberish.

Roy: My gods! Haley! I am so sorry! This is all my fault!

Haley: Come again?

Roy: I kept telling her to shut up, because she was making fun of me. And now she can't speak! She's clearly suffering from some sort of curse that I brought upon her!

Roy: (crying) Forgive me, Haley! Forgive me! I should never have said that to you!

Haley: Can somebody please get weepy transsexual off me?

Vaarsuvius: Actually, we believe that she is suffering from hysterical aphasia as a result of the mental trauma associated with the destruction of the treasure.

Roy: Oh. Never mind, then.

Vaarsuvius: Although, I suppose there would never have been an explosion in the first place if you had refrained from prentending to be —

Roy: I think I said NEVER. MIND. THEN.

Belkar: Could you hug Haley again for a moment? I need to capture the mental image for later.

Incidentally, it appears that there is an inconsistency in the cipher, and I am wondering whether I should email Rich Burlew about it. "T" in panel 3 should translate to "S", ("It means my speech is all funny-sounding") whereas "T" in panel 6 should translate to "R" ("Can somebody please get weepy transsexual off me?"). Does anyone see my mistake? Or do you agree that it's an error in the source?

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The Red Bull Diary is the personal pulpit and intellectual dumping-ground for its author, an amateur game designer, professional programmer, political centrist and incurable skeptic. The Red Bull Diary is gaming, game design, politics, development, geek culture, and other such nonsense.