IM IN UR MANGER KILLING UR SAVIOR Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Three geeks turn a nativity scene into a LARP battle:

Really funny stuff from For Tax Reasons, who have a weird website.

Second Wiseman: Uh-oh-wait, also it has an Armor Rating of 20. It's the best armor you can have and still cast heal spells. It's the best.

I also feel obligated to point out that the third wiseman is not a real geek. He was trying to buy Highlander 2.

Other good quotes:

Third Wiseman: Remember, we must defend the child! He is the key to saving the kingdom! *CLANG* Hello? Hello? Oh my God! I'm blind! My friends, I am blind!

And "mathlete". Heh.

Fedegera Thursday, September 25, 2008

This was just too perfect not to post. The latest from Tatsuya Ishida's Sinfest:

I will elaborate once the "debate" over the bailout bill has been resolved. Congress is like an old dog and it knows just one trick: roll over.

Damn It Feels Good to be Banker: A Wall Street Musical Monday, September 01, 2008

The only way this video makes sense is if you work on Wall Street, but this is one of the funniest videos I have ever seen. Consultants vs. Bankers:

Via iTulip, a voice in the economic wilderness.

The book that inspired this video, Damn, it Feels Good to Be a Banker: And Other Baller Things You Only Get to Say If You Work On Wall Street has now gone on to my must-buy list. This is a very strange world I operate in between 9 and 5 (okay, 10 and 7). Perhaps someday soon I can tell you all some of the stories.

Gorbachev: The Music Video Thursday, July 17, 2008

The inimitable Amber Night recently posted this crazy-awesome video from a Russian band featuring Mikhail Gorbachev as an axe-wielding barbarian that shoots lasers out of his eyes.

This is a must-see.

Don't you see the inherent gameplay here? Friday, June 13, 2008

No game this week. Via del.icio.us:

Enjoy your weekend.

Cyclops! Get it? Thursday, May 29, 2008

OOTS is still pretty funny. Less geeky (Burlew just lost 10 geek points for the Lost reference – even though I am watching it, too), but funny.

EDIT

Since at least one person didn't get it: The hatch with the Dharma initiative symbol on it is the reference to Lost. The last panel in the OOTS strip was a reference to Odysseus and the Cyclops. I guess referencing ancient literature is pretty geeky, so I guess I have to give Rich Burlew his geek points back.

Evil Floating Head Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Many thanks to Critical Hits for this heartwarming tale of a boy and his lost, evil, floating head.

Stuff White People Like Monday, May 05, 2008

Stuff White People Like:

• Public radio
• Non-profit organizations
• Co-ed sports
• Expensive sandwiches
• Bicycles
• Organic food
• Microbreweries

For the record: I'm white, and I think this is hilarious.

I was also on vacation in sunny Florida and drove a hybrid for a week. Thus the lack of posting.

Imagine If We Walked the Whole Way Thursday, March 20, 2008

Via a comment on Brenda Brathwaite's latest post: How The Lord of the Rings Should Have Ended.

Cereal Killers Thursday, February 28, 2008

Awesome breakfast boxes: Cereal Killers.

A Junior High School Sense of Humor Monday, February 11, 2008

Apparently, my sense of humor never advanced beyond junior high school because I laughed when I saw this:

I'll bet Jay understands.

Gettysburg PowerPoint Friday, December 28, 2007

I hope everyone had a very safe and happy holiday.

Via the del.icio.us hotlist: The Gettysburg PowerPoint Presentation.

We Are Your Overlords Thursday, October 18, 2007

Via Blogus Maximus: Viking Kittens!

Should I Stop Playing? Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Now that I am married, I have to add a few additional factors into my decision-making process. And apparently, I'm not the only one, because I was forwarded this flowchart from BBSpot on how "married folks" should answer that age-old question: "should I stop playing this game?"

It's Talk Like a Pirate Day Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Avast ye scurvy dogs! Today be September 19th and ye know what that means, don't ye? It be Talk Like a Pirate Day, the only day of the year when every man be a sea dog, every wench be a wench, and every enemy be damned to spend his days sleeping in Davy Jones' locker.

Arr, but what's that ye say? Ye don't know how to talk like a pirate? 'Tis naught but a little practice ye need! This video be teachin' ye all ye need know about shivering ye timbers, says I.

And fer those of ye who may know ABC's Wife Swap, ye may want to give Mad Sally's first-hand account at representin' the piratin' way of life on the show. She be weird, but ye have to respect the wench's pluck.

Now put on yer peg leg and find yerself a parrot. I want arrs all around!

I'm the Juggernaut, Bitch! Tuesday, May 01, 2007

This is retarded video humor sent to me by a friend: a couple of guys goofing on an old X-Men cartoon. Low-brow fun. Watch "I'm the Juggernaut Bitch!".

We Don't Need No Stinking Copyrights Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Many thanks to the inimitable Raph Koster. I present: WoW DDR.

Overheard Thursday, December 28, 2006

Quotes like this are why I love Overheard in New York.

Sex Advice from a D&D Player Monday, December 18, 2006

Man, Gnomie. You always manage to find the gems.

Many thanks to the small, furry one for providing a link to this blog post featuring Sex Advice from a Dungeons and Dragons Player. Some of the highlights:

My lover and I enjoy role-play, but I’ve gotten tired of the same cliché scenarios like student/teacher and boss/secretary. Any recommendations for new roles that might help spice it up?

I don’t know what system you’re playing, but "student/teacher" and "boss/secretary" do not sound like choices that would inspire one to role-playing greatness. Consider a classic like "cleric of the watcher from the depths/virgin" or "half-orc paladin/gelatinous cube." And remember, silken rope may be more expensive, but it’s nearly half the weight in encumbrance.

I’ve been dating someone really great for a few months, but he’s never referred to me as his girlfriend. How do I take it to another Level?

While the obvious answer is "“Accomplish a story task in the boyfriend track for XP equal or greater to your next level threshold," I get the feeling you might be hinting that you want to descend into the fetid labyrinth that festers beneath his ancient wizard’s tower. In that case the stairs are in quadrant M23, behind the Throne of the Kobold Hetman.

My girlfriend is older and more experienced than me. What can I do to impress her in bed?

Ah ha! Clearly you are looking for Feats, introduced in the Third Edition ruleset, which offer a variety of abilities that can be used to impress or distract your opponent. Consider: "Acrobatic," "Alertness," "Animal Affinity," "Armor Proficiency (Medium)," and "Athletic." (And that’s just from the As!)

See also: "Blind-Fight," "Cleave," "Craft Rod," "Deflect Arrows," "Enlarge Spell," "Extend Spell," "Greater Two-Weapon Fighting," "Iron Will," "Mounted Combat," "Rapid Reload," or "Shot on the Run." (Actually, pretty much all the Feats are gold.)

Careful how hard you laugh at this one. Laugh too hard and it's obvious you once cracked up with your friends in Chess club about the "Rod of Lordly Might".

George Washington Lyrics Sunday, December 17, 2006

I can't get Washington out of my head! So to satisfy some bizarre compulsion, I had to transcribe the lyrics since I couldn't find them anywhere online. I consider this a service to my own sanity:

(ahhhhh)
Washington, Washington
Six foot eight
Weighs a fucking ton
Opponents beware
Opponents beware
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming

Let me lay it on the line
He had two on the vine
I mean two sets of testicles
So divine
On a horse made of crystal
He patrolled the land
With the mason ring and schnauzer
And his perfect hands

Here comes George
In control
Women dug his snuff
And his gallant stroll
Ate opponents' brains
And invented cocaine
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming

Washington, Washington
Six foot twenty
Fucking killing for fun
Spread, spread
The Delaware
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming

Sue me if I go too fast
But the sons of his opponents
Wished that he was their dad
Got a wig for his wig
Got a brain for his heart
He'll kick you apart
He'll kick you apart
Ooh!

He'll save children
But not the British children
He'll save children
But not the British children
He'll save children
But not the British children
He'll save children
But not the British children

(drum sounds)

He had a pocket full of horses
Fucked the shit out of bears
Threw a knife into heaven
And could kill with a stare
He made love like an eagle
Falling out of the sky
Killed his sensei in a duel
And he never said why

Washington, Washington
Twelve stories high
Made of radiation
The present beware,
The future beware
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming

Did I mention his four nuts?
Well he also had four dicks
If you took off his boot
You'd see the dicks growing off his feet
I heard that motherfucker had like thirty god damn dicks

He once held an opponent's wife's hand
In a jar of acid at a party

(brring)
(whoosh)

Dude, Washington is a total f*cking bad ass.

The animation is brilliant, the lyrics are gold. I find it hard to believe I couldn't find this anywhere else online. Well, now you can. All of you who yearn to memorize the lyrics, because Cox and Combes have devoured a portion of your brain, your search is over.

[EDIT]

This is quickly becoming one of the most popular posts on my humble little blog. For those of you here for the first time, welcome! Why not check out the Friday Free Game, if you like that sort of thing. You see, you'd never know it, but this was supposed to be a game design blog, but it hasn't exactly turned out that way.

Since you like George Washington, might I direct you to some other campiness I've blogged about: like awful Star Wars costumes, geek classics and retro video games.

Or leave. And try to get Washington out of your head. Good luck with that.

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