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"Your 'reality', sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever."
— Karl Friedrich Hieronymus, Freiherr von M√ľnchhausen

George Washington Lyrics

I can't get Washington out of my head! So to satisfy some bizarre compulsion, I had to transcribe the lyrics since I couldn't find them anywhere online. I consider this a service to my own sanity:

Washington, Washington
Six foot eight
Weighs a fucking ton
Opponents beware
Opponents beware
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming

Let me lay it on the line
He had two on the vine
I mean two sets of testicles
So divine
On a horse made of crystal
He patrolled the land
With the mason ring and schnauzer
And his perfect hands

Here comes George
In control
Women dug his snuff
And his gallant stroll
Ate opponents' brains
And invented cocaine
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming

Washington, Washington
Six foot twenty
Fucking killing for fun
Spread, spread
The Delaware
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming

Sue me if I go too fast
But the sons of his opponents
Wished that he was their dad
Got a wig for his wig
Got a brain for his heart
He'll kick you apart
He'll kick you apart

He'll save children
But not the British children
He'll save children
But not the British children
He'll save children
But not the British children
He'll save children
But not the British children

(drum sounds)

He had a pocket full of horses
Fucked the shit out of bears
Threw a knife into heaven
And could kill with a stare
He made love like an eagle
Falling out of the sky
Killed his sensei in a duel
And he never said why

Washington, Washington
Twelve stories high
Made of radiation
The present beware,
The future beware
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming

Did I mention his four nuts?
Well he also had four dicks
If you took off his boot
You'd see the dicks growing off his feet
I heard that motherfucker had like thirty god damn dicks

He once held an opponent's wife's hand
In a jar of acid at a party

Dude, Washington is a total f*cking bad ass.

The animation is brilliant, the lyrics are gold. I find it hard to believe I couldn't find this anywhere else online. Well, now you can. All of you who yearn to memorize the lyrics, because Cox and Combes have devoured a portion of your brain, your search is over.


This is quickly becoming one of the most popular posts on my humble little blog. For those of you here for the first time, welcome! Why not check out the Friday Free Game, if you like that sort of thing. You see, you'd never know it, but this was supposed to be a game design blog, but it hasn't exactly turned out that way.

Since you like George Washington, might I direct you to some other campiness I've blogged about: like awful Star Wars costumes, geek classics and retro video games.

Or leave. And try to get Washington out of your head. Good luck with that.

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Comments on George Washington Lyrics
  Comment from Anonymous Jesse at Thursday, December 28, 2006 3:16:00 PM
Thanks for putting out the lyrics. =)
Know anywhere to get the mp3 of it?
  Comment from Blogger Matt at Sunday, February 03, 2008 12:40:00 AM
This comment has been removed by the author.
  Comment from Blogger Matt at Sunday, February 03, 2008 12:41:00 AM
Thanks for the lyrics, I used them on the official viral video page:

I linked back to you for credit, thanks again!

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The Red Bull Diary is the personal pulpit and intellectual dumping-ground for its author, an amateur game designer, professional programmer, political centrist and incurable skeptic. The Red Bull Diary is gaming, game design, politics, development, geek culture, and other such nonsense.