Useful Latin Phrases Thursday, May 31, 2007

It's been a long time since I let out my inner language geek. Over a year, as I reckon — the last language-related post I made is dated January 7th of last year, when Patsy pointed the way to an article on What Tolkien Officially Said About Elf Sex.

And for those of you who perhaps never sampled the sheer depth of my geekiness, you should check out a post I wrote way back in 2005 called Grammatical Rules of Thumb, where I try my hand on making that "'i' before 'e'" thing more comprehensive.

But I didn't post today to reminisce about blog posts past, but to tell you that I am a happier and more fulfilled man than I was yesterday because I now have the ability to make lighthearted conversation at the Vatican. And you can too, thanks to this awesome list of Handy Latin Phrases, which includes such classics as:

• Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
  Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?
• Visne saltare? Viam Latam Fungosam scio.
  Do you want to dance? I know the Funky Broadway.
• Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
  I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

This way you won't be caught tongue-tied when the High Pontiff invites you to his barbecue. You can just stand by the Sacred Grill and say to His Holiness sagaciously, "Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri?"