The GTA Porn Scandal Monday, July 18, 2005

When someone first told me about this issue, they said that they didn't know the specifics, but apparently there was "hidden porn in Grand Theft Auto". Portrayed this way, it sounded like some developer managed to sneak an Easter Egg the size of Godzilla into production software, a difficult proposition to say the least. I'm not saying that it couldn't happen, but it seemed less than likely.

Now that I've read up a little on the issue (thanks in part to MacFurious), I see that I was right. This wasn't some Easter Egg. What's the uproar about? A mod. That's right, a mod. Apparently, there's a mod floating around the internet that enables you to have your GTA character have sex in the game. This is what has people so upset? I could see being upset if you "ran across" pornography where you didn't expect it, but that's not what happened. Get a clue, Hillary, before you shoot your mouth off: you have to intentionally modify the software to get it to be pornographic. Your outrage is akin to seeing a piece of art vandalized with pornographic images and blaming the artist.

Now, you may say that that's not what people are upset about. You may say that they're upset that it's available in the first place — an even stupider thing to be upset about. You mean you can get pornography on the Internet for free? Really? You mean porn is two clicks away at any time? Wow. I never knew that.

I think it's amazing that this is what has caused the uproar. This isn't something hidden in a shrink-wrapped piece of software. This is some kid who managed to hack into another program to make it do something else. Blaming Rockstar Games (the company who developed GTA) for this would be like blaming Microsoft for a Word macro virus.

Here's a tip for all you alarmist parents out there: before you start looking for someone to blame, realize that no one forced your kid to download porn, whether it's movies or some mod. He went looking for it. He intentionally downloaded it, installed it, whacked off to it, bragged about having it, shared it with his friends, posted it to a usenet group, and discussed it on the school bus. Your kid isn't a victim here. He's a perpetrator.