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"Your 'reality', sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever."
— Karl Friedrich Hieronymus, Freiherr von M√ľnchhausen

America: Fuck Yeah

This isn't exactly a review so much as an homage to a great satire. Team America: World Police was very, very funny, mixing equal parts South Park, G.I. Joe, Star Wars, James Bond, Thunderbirds and Top Gun. You know the movie is brilliant when it boils the world down to three kinds of people: dicks, pussies and assholes:

We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks! And the Film Actors' Guild!.. are pussies. And Kim Jong Il!.. is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks!.. because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can fuck an asshole... is a dick... with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much, or fuck when it isn't apporoporate, and it takes a pussy to show 'em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes. I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole, we are gonna have our dicks and our pussies... all covered in shit.

BSR (Base Show Rating): 8/10
Applicable Modifiers:
  • +2 if you enjoy full-on, hard-core puppet sex, including scatophilia
  • -2 if you think people like Sean Penn should be involved in politics
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The Red Bull Diary is the personal pulpit and intellectual dumping-ground for its author, an amateur game designer, professional programmer, political centrist and incurable skeptic. The Red Bull Diary is gaming, game design, politics, development, geek culture, and other such nonsense.