IM IN UR MANGER KILLING UR SAVIOR Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Three geeks turn a nativity scene into a LARP battle:

Really funny stuff from For Tax Reasons, who have a weird website.

Second Wiseman: Uh-oh-wait, also it has an Armor Rating of 20. It's the best armor you can have and still cast heal spells. It's the best.

I also feel obligated to point out that the third wiseman is not a real geek. He was trying to buy Highlander 2.

Other good quotes:

Third Wiseman: Remember, we must defend the child! He is the key to saving the kingdom! *CLANG* Hello? Hello? Oh my God! I'm blind! My friends, I am blind!

And "mathlete". Heh.

Pre-Rolled Dice Monday, October 27, 2008

I recently started reading Darths & Droids, a webcomic that presents the story of The Phantom Menace as a role-playing game, after the style of DM of the Rings. In strip #99, the author discusses (below the comic itself) the various superstitions that gamers will indulge in with respect to dice. This one blew me away for being at once eminently logical, hopelessly moronic, breathtakingly obsessive, and, above all, unspeakably geeky:

As pointed out so clearly in this essay on dice superstition, if dice are random, then it doesn't matter if you're superstitious about them. But if they're not... well, you better make sure you do the right thing and treat them properly. No use taking risks now, is there?

Pete, being the highly logical, calculating person he is, rejects all of that as superstitious nonsense. He instead applies the scientific approach. Over the years, he's collected somewhere around a thousand twenty-sided dice. Every so often, he gathers them all together. He sits down at a table and carefully and individually rolls each of the thousand dice, once. Of course, roughly a twentieth of them will roll a one. He takes those fifty-odd dice and rolls them a second time. After about an hour of concentrated dice rolling, he'll end up with around two or three dice that have rolled two ones in a row. He takes those primed dice and places them in special custom-made padded containers where they can't roll around, and carries them to all the games he plays.

Then, when in the most dire circumstances, where a roll of one would be absolutely disastrous, he pulls out the prepared dice. He now has in his hand a die that has rolled two ones in a row. Pete knows the odds of a d20 rolling three ones in a row is a puny one in 8,000. He has effectively pre-rolled the ones out of the die, and can make his crucial roll with confidence. Furthermore, being scientific about it means he knows that it doesn't matter who rolls the die for the third time, so he has no qualms about sharing his primed dice with other players, if that's what it takes to avoid disaster.

I think it's the idea of storing pre-rolled dice in roll-proof containers and carrying them with you that got me. That Pete is a man who takes his dice very seriously.

D&D, Past and Present Monday, November 05, 2007

By way of a forum sig, I found this little gem of a rant by Charlie Martin that sums up the commercial and political history of Dungeons and Dragons, the grand-daddy of all roleplaying games; the gaming phenomenon arguably responsible for all modern, medieval-themed games, from Ultima to Golden Axe to Diablo to World of Warcraft.

As a longtime D&D player and an amateur historian of the gaming hobby, I'm surprised at how little of the infighting I actually knew about, as well as who was responsible for which innovations. Surprising tidbits I picked up:

• It was Dave Arneson, not Gary Gygax, who came up with the idea of role-playing as we know it: each player is responsible for playing a single character instead of commanding entire platoons in a wargame.
• The original release of Dungeons and Dragons required both Gygax's older game Chainmail and Avalon Hill's Outdoor Survival rules to supplement it.
• Tactical Studies Rules, Inc.'s original founders were Gary Gygax, Dave Arneson, Don Kaye, and Brian Blume. After the falling-out between Arneson and Gygax, Gygax created TSR, Inc. with Brian and Kevin Blume. Thus, TSR and Tactical Studies Rules are two different companies, albeit with some common owners.
• The split between "Basic" and "Advanced" D&D in 1977 was primarily an effort to appease Dave Arneson, who had sued for both recognition and royalties. Gyagx continued to churn out material for AD&D while relegating the basic D&D line to other authors.
• Lorraine Williams, who took over TSR after the Blume family had basically run it into the ground, was a financial consultant who despised gamers. It was under Williams that the second edition was produced.

Martin sagely notes that "every single person who has tried to screw someone over in the name of getting more money out of Dungeons & Dragons has got what was coming to them. It’s quite a nice bit of justice that is rarely found in the real world."

And for those of you who may not keep up with all the latest happenings in the world of role-playing games, you may have missed this one: Fourth Edition D&D was announced at GenCon Indy 2007. According to the latest scuttlebut, the three core books (new cover art here: PHB, DMG, MM) will be released in June, 2008.

Sex Advice from a D&D Player Monday, December 18, 2006

Man, Gnomie. You always manage to find the gems.

Many thanks to the small, furry one for providing a link to this blog post featuring Sex Advice from a Dungeons and Dragons Player. Some of the highlights:

My lover and I enjoy role-play, but I’ve gotten tired of the same cliché scenarios like student/teacher and boss/secretary. Any recommendations for new roles that might help spice it up?

I don’t know what system you’re playing, but "student/teacher" and "boss/secretary" do not sound like choices that would inspire one to role-playing greatness. Consider a classic like "cleric of the watcher from the depths/virgin" or "half-orc paladin/gelatinous cube." And remember, silken rope may be more expensive, but it’s nearly half the weight in encumbrance.

I’ve been dating someone really great for a few months, but he’s never referred to me as his girlfriend. How do I take it to another Level?

While the obvious answer is "“Accomplish a story task in the boyfriend track for XP equal or greater to your next level threshold," I get the feeling you might be hinting that you want to descend into the fetid labyrinth that festers beneath his ancient wizard’s tower. In that case the stairs are in quadrant M23, behind the Throne of the Kobold Hetman.

My girlfriend is older and more experienced than me. What can I do to impress her in bed?

Ah ha! Clearly you are looking for Feats, introduced in the Third Edition ruleset, which offer a variety of abilities that can be used to impress or distract your opponent. Consider: "Acrobatic," "Alertness," "Animal Affinity," "Armor Proficiency (Medium)," and "Athletic." (And that’s just from the As!)

See also: "Blind-Fight," "Cleave," "Craft Rod," "Deflect Arrows," "Enlarge Spell," "Extend Spell," "Greater Two-Weapon Fighting," "Iron Will," "Mounted Combat," "Rapid Reload," or "Shot on the Run." (Actually, pretty much all the Feats are gold.)

Careful how hard you laugh at this one. Laugh too hard and it's obvious you once cracked up with your friends in Chess club about the "Rod of Lordly Might".

On Hit Points Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Troy of Socratic Design posted an article yesterday talking about hit points versus damage-per-second in MMORPGs. In it, he linked to an essay written by Jonathan Tweet (co-creator of my personal favorite RPG, Ars Magica) on hit points in AD&D. It's Tweet's piece that I ended up reading twice and mulling over for a little while, because he makes a really good point.

Everyone and their brother has bashed the hit point system. I know I have. There are all sorts of forms that this complaint takes, such as "Why do hit points increase with level?" or "How can a 12th-level fighter take more damage than a rhinoceros?" All of these complaints boil down to basically the same thing: hit points are unrealistic. And it's true, they are. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. Tweet explains:

Back in high school, when I switched from (thoroughly hacked) D&D to RuneQuest, part of the reason I did so was that RQ has a more realistic hit point system. In RQ, even a tough character can die with a single lucky blow (say, a critical impale to the head). In D&D, a player can assess the combat and calculate when there's no chance whatever that a given blow is going to take their character out. RQ seemed more realistic. And it I still think it is.

But I played a lot of RQ, and bad things happened. In one memorable incident, a long-running character was killed by a single lucky shot in an encounter that was supposed to be a diversion. More generally, once the characters were tough enough to take on big monsters, such as griffins, the monsters' ability to deal lots of damage made them hard to balance. Characters that dodged or parried were OK, but those that let a monster's attack through, or got critted, went down. Even at lower levels, the chance that an attack might disable one's sword arm or knock one down meant that a character's position in a fight could take an unpredictable dive.

For the gamist, this suspension of reality is done for a very good reason: it enhances the playability of the game. It makes it more fun, because it keeps things balanced, keeps your character alive, and makes the GM's job of providing solid challenges a little bit easier.

In my early fantasy role playing game design, I actually used two sets of hit points to strike this balance between playability and realism. Constitution was lost when taking damage that actually tore your body up, Endurance was lost when taking damage that knocked you around. If you ran out of Constitution, you were considered incapacitated: your character was lying on the ground, bleeding badly and unable to move. If you ran out of Endurance, you were considered unconscious. If you lost both, then the character died. Normally, characters had more Endurance than Constitution, but armor normally worked better at absorbing Constitution damage than Endurance damage. This worked well because you could be knocked out of a fight fairly easily, but dying was hard because you had a lot more points to chew through.

This is the main thing about games without hit points ("critical hit" systems suffer from this problem, too): it's fun when you get a lucky hit in to cut the bad guy's head off, but it doesn't seem like much fun anymore when that random encounter kills a character that you've played for a long time. My goal, like Jonathan's, is that this is something to be avoided, because while it may be realistic, it can really kill your fun.

Hit points (like levels) is one of those design conventions that never seems to go away, because it solves a common problem in a way that is clean and very simple. From a simulationist point of view, they cause all sorts of problems because they're just not reflective of reality. For the narrativist, it robs us of opportunities for tragic accidents. Screw all that. I'm a gamist. Let's just play the game.

Colbert's Homage to D&D Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Many thanks to my man The Gnome for pointing out Stephen Colbert's homage to D&D, which I have transcribed here:

Earlier this week marked the introduction of Dungeons and Dragons: Stormreach, a new, online version of the popular swords-and-sorcery game. I myself played a lot of the D&D way back when. Actually, I once met Len Lakofka at Gencon 10. I'll never forget when I lost Ferrenith, my 21st level lawful good Paladin. I know, that's redundant. He was on a campaign searching for Tenser, wizard of the circle of light. En route from the Sheldomar Valley to the Thilronian peninsula, he got cornered by a displacer beast and a mind flayer and he failed to save against psionic attack. See, he had already lost a lot of hit points battling a beholder and the cleric in the party couldn't regenerate enough hit points with his heal light wounds spell. All-in-all, a sad day in Badabaskor.

But I gave up D&D in 1984 - my parents were concerned I was being possessed by demons. So one summer they sent me to an exorcism day camp. Eight weeks of sailing, casting out the devils within me and making laniards did the trick. Oh, and I also got a girlfriend.

Anyway, it is the end of an era, and as the cyber-elves and the e-wizards log on to the digital dungeon, I sadly place on my shelf these now-obsolete polyhedral dice. The good news is with D&D now available on the Internet, the social outcasts of today's junior high schools are relieved of the agony of any human contact. Enjoy your magnificent isolation! Don't forget to bathe.

Let me point out that this was a pretty well-researched little rant! Thilronian Peninsula, Sheldomar Valley and Badabaskor are all canonical references from the Greyhawk setting. But there are a two pretty obvious blunders: first, "Heal" Light Wounds was no Cleric spell I ever heard of and second, "save versus psionic attack"? That one's absurd. Every old-school AD&D geek knows that the first edition psionic system was a complete system unto itself that relied on combining attribute scores and would never stoop to reuse a mechanic used elsewhere in the game. Universal mechanics are so 1990's.

But this is what happens when the mundanes try to speak geek. It just grates on the ear of those for whom it is a native tongue.

Gamers Thursday, April 20, 2006

There's a movie coming out this year called Gamers, a lighthearted mockumentary about my favorite hobby from writer/director Christopher Folino.

Filmed through the lens of an ever-present camera crew, Gamers shares the story of a group of high school friends on the eve of breaking the longest streak of D&D competition. (That’s Demons, Nymphs, and Dragons.) 23 years and some ridiculous 70,000+ hours after school, weekends and into their adult lives has the gang played and they are now one session away from snatching the record held by some Iowa corn farmers.
—Eric Childress, eFilmCritic.com

You have to check out some of the clips and quotes from the movie. Hilarious stuff. Could it be there's finally a movie that does the hobby justice, even if it's poking fun?

According to at least one review, it's well-produced despite a limited budget, attracting cameo appearances from well-known actors such as Beverly D'Angelo and Kelly Le Brock, who the filmmakers would never have been able to afford. They appear in the film because they like the material.

If this film lacks anything it's the chance for exposure to be given an opportunity to find an audience. Apparently it has been passed over by a number of the major film festivals in the USA. Gamers has a redeeming atmosphere and reminds me of what might have happen if the creators of Napoleon Dynamite meet up with the team behind the National Lampoon films.

The production values and quality of this film far exceed its budget and the team behind Gamers should be proud of their film. Gamers is an original and funny independent film, something many Hollywood comedies today don't delivery even with their A list cast and huge budgets.

—Indie Film Nation

And some quotes to give you an idea of what the movie is all about...

PAUL: Okay. You know what? I was gonna wait until everybody else got here, but... There's your present, Reese. It's a comforter. It's got the names of every character that has died on Reese's watch listed out on it. It's a California King size. It's full on both sides. Here, help me hold it up for the camera. Show 'em.

REESE: He's joking. You're joking, aren't you?

PAUL: Well, actually, I am. It's only on one side, my mom kinda ran outta time, but there are more names on this than on the AIDS quilt. I checked it out, Reese.

and...

KEVIN: You're introduced to Baytor, the bard, who for five gold pieces will sing you a song about the legend of Theddian Selimar. Kevin gets his guitar ready.

REESE: Five gold pieces? Damn, does a wand of blow jobs come with the song?

I can't seem to find a release date, though. I've gotta get a copy of this movie.

On The History of D&D Friday, March 03, 2006

For those interested in such things, this Forge article is an excellent discussion of the origins of Dungeons and Dragons, with an eye towards examining the different forms and styles of play that grew up around the hobby. An oldy but a goody.

Dungeon Masters in Cyberspace Monday, February 27, 2006

Is this one of the signs of the Apocalypse? The New York Times has decided to talk about DDO vis-a-vis traditional pen-and-paper gaming.

Getting an Education in D&D Wednesday, December 28, 2005

In late November, Wizards of the Coast posted a blurb on their website saying that Columbia University was planning on offering a 3-credit, graduate-level course in Dungeons and Dragons:

How would you like to take D&D for credit? Columbia University is planning a 3-credit graduate studies course on D&D -- in fact, researchers were here at WotC last week, interviewing members of R&D!

I wanted to blog about it then, but since I could find no supporting information, I figured I'd wait until I knew more.

Well, there's still no more information available on Columbia's planned course, but as you may already know, Barnes and Noble has recently begun running free online courses in a wide variety of topics. And one of their newest offerings is a course entitled "Discover Dungeons and Dragons", led by Eberron co-creator James Wyatt.

Introduced in 1974, Dungeons & Dragons is the leading fantasy role-playing game. D&D products are the benchmark for adventure role-playing game excellence.

As a beginning player, this course will guide you in understanding how D&D works, explaining the various worlds and characters types that it is based on, creating a D&D role for yourself, and understanding how your player role interacts in the world and with other characters. You will learn the extent of your abilities and the possibilities that lie ahead for your player, including magical spells, mythic quests, and epic battles with incredible monsters.

To play D&D, all that is required is a core rule book, D&D dice, a pencil, some paper, and imagination. With this course, you will be put in contact with a Dungeon Master who will guide your play through an adventure in which your character will perform feats and wage battles with other players, while gaining power, knowledge and experience.

Role-playing games have in the past been a topic of interest in sociological and psychological terms because it provides a window into the workings of psychological escapism, creates virtual economies, and explores the nature of myth. I will post an update if and when more information becomes available.

Putting The "Do" Into "Dodecahedron" Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Not sure if any of my readers read as many game reviews as I do, but when it comes to pen-and-paper games, board games, card games, and all other things low-tech and geeky, I do my best to stay abreast. And it's nice to read an off-beat review every now and then, just so that you know someone else out there in cyberspace feels the same way you do about my favorite hobbies.

The latest installment of Out of the Box, a column by Kenneth Hite (who has credits including Call of Cthulhu d20 and the Star Trek RPG), is just such a review.

That's right, as promised, it's time for the Best of Breed d20 Column, Core Game Version, Ultimate Badass Edition. One can be forgiven for believing that all d20 design is simply tired reiterations of the same crappy elf template or desperate tries at jiggering the encumbrance rules or lame attempts to jury-rig "retro flavor" into a far better rule set than any of us had when we were fourteen. (Oh, just a hint -- the reason that your D&D game seemed so much more exciting then? Everything seemed more exciting then. You were fourteen, for God's sake, your blood was approximately 88% hormones and 12% Wild Turkey.)

And you know what? I think the guy may be right. For those of us who long to recapture the excitement and wonder that we first felt when those dice clattered across the table, for those of us who refuse to use a DMG without a big red demon on it, for those of us who think that orcs should have pig noses and that's final, let's all take a step back and remember what it was really like to be a kid, and wonder if Kenneth hasn't hit on something. Sure, gaming was the greatest thing ever back in the day. And sure, we don't all have the same warm-and-mushy feelings that we used to when we sit down at the gaming table as thirty-somethings. But maybe that's just the way of things. Maybe it's not gaming that's changed. Maybe it's us.

This Deception from the Devil Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Playing with Dragon Fire is a 1994 article from a Christian magazine for boys called Breakaway.

... I traded in my Bible for the game's rule book, trying to shut out the voice of Someone who loved me. Then, somewhere in the middle of the "fun", I came back to my senses -- and got back on my knees.

*Lord, what have I done?* I prayed. *I'm sorry for turning my back on You-- again. Give me the strength to resist this deception from the Devil ... and to keep my eyes on You.*

The real evil as described in the article was the obsession with gaming, and I think we'd all agree that obsession in all its forms (including an obsession with the Bible) is destructive.

You Know You've Spent Too Much Time Roleplaying If... Tuesday, November 22, 2005

So I'm looking for pictures of Moon Knight and I stumble onto a wiki called the Marvel Database Project, and then find my way into their forums, where I read this:

You know you've spent too much time roleplaying if...
You get pulled over by a police officer and say " Sorry officer i did'nt see the sign i must have failed my spot check" and then proceed to ask directions to the nearest tavern.

'Nuff said.

Free d20 Products from Atlas Monday, November 14, 2005

Atlas Games president John Nephew turns 36 on Thursday, November 17th. And what better way to celebrate than with free stuff? You send a self-addressed envelope (at least 10" x 13") with $2.26 in US postage, and Atlas will return it with up to 3 pounds of d20 goodies. Make sure it's postmarked no later than Thursday!

Instant Game Monday, November 14, 2005

Animalball Games has made a "barebones" edition of their Instant Game system available for free as a PDF download. The concept is simple: the Story Master (SM) randomly determines the setting and plot each session, and the players develop characters "on the fly" using a super-light rules framework. Interesting stuff.